Christmas 2021 will forever be remembered as the great PS5 depression, with millions of infants, teenagers and adults sulking about a lack of modern PlayStation silicone under their tree. There's only one person to blame.
Parents didn't waste any time throwing an overworked & overweight senior citizen under the bus.
"It's not our fault Santa was too much of a fat, lazy fuck to deliver the Playstation 5 you kids wanted. Oh, and the audacity of that flubb to still eat the milk & cookies you put out for him, only to tease you with 'Ho, ho, ho kids, did I just leave a PS5 under the tree?' before escaping the scene unseen?"
"Old saint Nic really must be a psychopath to leave a sultry Google Stadia subscription instead, despite our internet falling under 50 megabit, hey kids? You must hate him way more than us!"
"Alright, alright stop crying. We know Santa is a lousy, unreliable piece of shit, but your parents are about to make this day a whole lot better. What's in that large box addressed to you from us over there? You know, the one that has PS5 written on it? Open it up!"
"Merry Christmas kiddo's! Hey. Hey. HEY!!!! Be thankful for what you've been given you little shits. At least our present works! Well, kinda."
