A modern gamer is left in a vegetated state after experiencing some of the most jarring frame rate issues in a video game known to man — Perfect Dark on the Nintendo 64.
The gaming world is in uproar after one of the most anticipated games of the generation is suffering immense performance issues on last generation consoles, (PS4/Xbox One) rendering the title unplayable. Many believe that Cyberpunk 2077 is now the roughest gaming experience in existence, although it should be noted that anyone who thinks that is too young to understand the jankiness that is the first generation of 3D video game systems.
The original Sony Playstation, Sega Saturn and Nintendo 64 (to name a few) are home to some of the most beloved video games of all time that pioneered the transition of gaming into the third dimension. With such boundaries broken, there was bound to be plenty of mistakes made, most of which were usually due to inexperience or ignorance. Players back then were not as susceptible to low frame-rates and choppy graphics, allowing developers plenty of leeway to squeeze in many features that were not ready for the low powered hardware at the time.
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| Oww, my eyes! The goggles do nothing. |
In 2020 people are now just a little more sensitive. One outraged gamer was so confident in their belief that Cyberpunk's console performance is the worst of all time, he psychotically purchased a Nintendo 64 and Perfect Dark — a combination banned in many countries due to its dangerously low frame-rates — to prove his point.
"He honestly thought frame rates couldn't get any worse than Cyberpunk on PS4. I tried to stop him, but he Just. Wouldn't. Listen!!! Said the now brain-fucked gamer's friend to Era Error.
"The younger generation doesn't understand that low frame-rates are like peanut allergies. People were stronger because our parents used to let us to do stupid shit without repercussions. A low frame-rate on an older video game system can inflict more damage than the light frequencies which cause epileptic fits, it's as simple as that."
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| This is actually a video of Perfect Dark (N64). |
"As soon as Perfect Dark was turned on, he plugged in 4 controllers, went straight to the multi-player mode and turned on 8 bots to the highest difficulty. After about a minute of play, all 4 human players were tranquilized and a number of proximity mines exploded, inflicting severe damage to his brain. I can't even explain what happened to his body during the accident, it's just too traumatic. Here, have a look at this photo of him in the hospital. He's a fucking vegetable!"
Jesus Christ. Get a 240hz monitor in front of that poor man ASAP!
