2020 has been tough for everyone. We could repeat the several instances where humanity failed itself over the past calendar year but we all know what they are. The most tragic tragedy currently encompassing the planet is the great pre-order fiasco embellishing the retail sector and infuriating potential customers. The worst culprit? The video game industry.
Next generation video game consoles were up for pre-order over the last week and the situation was a mess for the ages. Sony broke a promise to provide an exact date and time for PS5 pre-orders and Microsoft still managed to fuck Series X|S pre-orders up despite doing just that. The systems were sold out in what seemed like seconds and the vast majority of pundits are left without the prospect of a new video game console over the holiday season.
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| Your child is going to be extremely pissed that Santa couldn't provide. |
Thankfully there is still hope. Sony and Microsoft have both exclusively notified Era Error about uncounted allocations of PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X|S systems found in their warehouses, which will go on sale on retailer websites at a future date and time that will be exclusively revealed on EraError.com first.
PlayStation's CEO Jim Ryan has provided the following statement that we have copy and pasted without reading before posting.
"Sony is a multinational conglomerate and we find it absolutely hilarious that this despicably fucking shit so-called 'gaming publication' believes that we would give them such a big scoop like future pre-order dates over huge industry specific media companies like IGN or Gamespot."
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| PS CEO Jim Ryan. Image attached. |
"In fact, the pre-orders actually went live the very second this pathetic Era Error article went live, which means you've wasted the past few minutes pointlessly reading this garbage which has resorted to you missing out on a PS5 yet again."
"We would formally like to apologise about that, except not one person in this giant company (even the Japanese branch) gives a fuck about you missing out, or your whimpy little cry-baby children that are begging you to get them a PS5 for Xmas, because we've still received our money from scalpers."
"Still want one? Luckily Sony's official site has some re-sold pre-ordered systems for sale. At quite the reasonable price too."
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Head of Microsoft's Xbox division, CEO Phil Spencer has also released a PR statement regarding console pre-orders.
"Don't worry, we'll let you know when the next round of Series X pre-orders are available from retailers unlike those poor, peasants at Sony who can't afford to do so *laughs*. You'll just have to be ready at an extremely inconvenient time and be incredibly precise with your mouse click. When I say precise, I mean to the very thousandth of a second that pre-order window opens."
"If your internet is under gigabit speed and your PC isn't rocking an i9 10850k processor with 64GB Ram, a GeForce RTX 3090 graphics card paired with a 144hz monitor, I wouldn't bother, as a bunch of virgin scalpers will beat you with their bot. Now that I think about it, why even buy an Xbox if you have a rig like that anyway? As long as you give Microsoft your money, I don't give a flying fuck."
It's disappointing to have this glorious website slandered by two of the biggest corporations on the planet and also let our only reader down regarding a potential pre-order in the process. At least we managed to snag an Xbox Series X pre-order a week after they were apparently 'sold out' at retailers. Amazon had the system listed as Xbox One X which was strange, but it's arriving in the mail a month before launch day which is awesome!
