Reeling off the difficult decision to delay Halo Infinite to 2021, Microsoft has wasted no time announcing a replacement exclusive for Xbox's Series X launch in November.
The loss of Halo Infinite from Xbox Series X 's launch line-up is set to hurt the company immensely, as fierce competition from Sony's vast catalogue of AAA exclusives in recent years has pressured Microsoft to provide compelling first party titles of its own to entice gamers to their new console.
It appears Microsoft has decided to avoid the brutal prospect of launching a new generation without a blockbuster exclusive, swiftly revealing Halo Infinite's replacement — Bill Gates' VACCINE! Control The World — The Series X's 'killer app'.
"When I whimpered into Bill Gates' office at Microsoft Redmond crying about how the gimps at 343 Industries fucked me over once again with their retardation, I had no idea Billy Goat was directing a secret game finishing its development just in time to launch with the Series X. Bill Gates' VACCINE! Control The World is the exact power fantasy our hardcore user-base has harassed me for on social media since 2013 and it's our ticket to facing Sony head on in November." Said Battletoads 2020's only mega-fan, Phil Spencer.
The game's back of the box quotes paint a heroic tale of adversity for players to overcome:
- Ensure Bill Gates succeeds with his attempt to control the planet through mandatory vaccinations, starting with his humble beginnings of injecting mind altering microchips into every citizen of third world African countries.
- Upgrade Bill Gates' abilities in the guise of philanthropy, until he is given unprecedented power to take on 2020's COVID-19 in Western and Asian civilizations, where he will brainwash every human with a faux vaccine that causes permanent autism until he is awarded the title 'King of the Planet'.
- Battle correct conspiracy theorists, inbred redneck morons and menopausal Karens with a varied arsenal of health care products, which include masks, hand sanitizer and cleaning wipes.
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| Unfortunately Bill Gates' VACCINE! runs on the current Halo Infinite engine. |
- Once your vocal enemies are silenced by judgemental fuckwits on social media, break their will further with martial law, enforcing 2m distances, capacity limits at bars and restaurants, attendance bans at sporting events & conventions plus mandatory mask wearing — all enforced by violent police awarded government approval to give excessive fines and force.
- Victory isn't achieved until
COVID-19 is eradicated Bill's opponents willingly accept his COVID vaccine to end the pandemic once and for all, only to fall victim to his mind control micro-chips that enslave humanity to his leadership forever!
Look for Bill Gates' VACCINE! Control The World when it hits shelves and Microsoft Gamepass in November. There are rumours of an elaborate collector's edition which could be revealed during this week's Gamescom. Keep tuned to Era Error for more.
