It's been a draining week filled with exhaustive work and personal commitments. Thankfully I've managed to allocate a small amount of time to finally unwind and forget my troubles by immersing myself with a cutting edge video game that I've unfortunately neglected for a few weeks.
It's just me; sitting on my trash dining room chair jammed up to my 2nd hand $40 Ikea desk (with a fist hole through it), a freshly cracked can of top shelf Pabst Blue Ribbon and a couple of hours of gaming time to burn. Life couldn't be sweeter.
"Congratulations on trying to launch the game. You're almost there! Just 5 more mandatory 80GB updates off our slow as fuck servers for a mode you don't even want to play and you'll be all set!"
What. The. Fuck. Every time I get to play some god damn video games, I'm forced into waiting several hours before I'm allowed to do anything! I swear to god I had auto-update turned on. Why does that shit never, ever, actually work? Whatever, I'll wait.
After about 8 borderline infinite pauses on the download bar, 6 system reboots and an antagonisingly slow connection to the game's servers, I was finally graced with some kind of boot screen. Except:
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Now that I updated my Nvidia FX 5200 Ultra graphics card, I was now graced with a bunch of logo's for the asshole companies who constantly tinker with in-engine shit that should only amount to a few megabytes of changes but somehow racks up into the 20-60gb range. Only to find:
Sigh. I continued to persevere and found myself at the main menu. I still had about an hour left to destroy some fellow chums online. It's been a long journey, but the painful wait can be left in the past.
Should only be a little while longer... SURELY!
I'm going to pretend that I didn't throw my PC tower out the window of my apartment which may be on the 20th floor of the building after that frustration. I just wanted to play some games damn it!
I couldn't bare to torture myself through that process any more so I decided to think retro and pulled out my original Nintendo Entertainment System from the 80's. No internet. No online or updates. Just plug in the cartridge and play.
Just need to blow on the cartridge first to make sure it's clean before loading it in and...
Get fucked!
