In a game where the feat is not supposed to be possible, a chronic marijuana injector has sensationally killed Kirby, creating immense confusion to the already dazed individual.
Late last evening, Stuart Robertson juiced 2 sticky ounces of a highly potent sativa and injected it straight into his forearm. He then immediately had the urge to insert Kirby's Epic Yarn into his crappy Wii Mini console and decided to take the game for a spin.
Not even five minutes into his play-through, Stuart had found that he had achieved a momentous feat that no other person on the planet could possibly dream of — somehow killing everyone's favourite pink, little, digital blob.
"A 600mg THC injection can really make the impossible possible man. When that little dude turned into a car, I freaked out and he crashed into a pit. It was so funny! I thought the game was glitching, but nope, he's really dead! I did it haha! Hahahahaha!!"
After accidentally calling the emergency services hotline 16 times to boast about his glory, Stuart was arrested by police and taken to the local station, where has been held in lock-up ever since.
Head of the local precinct, Sergeant Qwikskope, didn't find the proceedings quite as hilarious as Mr Robertson.
"I don't know what's more sick. The fact he held up an additional 15 valuable emergency phone operators or that he seems to think the serious indictments against his name are funny. All the officers here at the station are really shook up by this disgusting and heinous crime. The scumbag seems to love injections, so I'll be doing everything in my power to ensure he'll be receiving a lethal one. We love you Kirby. RIP little guy!"
Nintendo has confirmed that a formal funeral service celebrating the diverse and wonderful life of Kirby will be held at HAL Laboratory's offices in Kyoto, Japan early next week.
