Shocking news has emerged out of the Mushroom Kingdom today, as legendary pharmacist Dr Mario has been stripped of his right to practice due to negligence.
Super Mario had built up quite the career since transitioning to the medical world in 1990. Many famous patients heralding from various parts of the Mushroom Kingdom have sworn by his practices over the years, which was largely presumed to be thanks to Mario's selfless work ethic.
Turns out he was just prescribing patients unnecessary opioids after hours for personal financial gain.
"It is expected that a practicing doctor takes their position in the medical world seriously and Dr Mario abused those powers repeatedly." Said Dr Rosalina, head of the Mushroom Kingdom Medical Board.
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| Those are definitely not the right pills required. |
"His tendency to prescribe powerful opioids to patients who only needed simple antibiotics to kill a virus is very disturbing. Dr Mario's irrational methods turned his patients into dependent addicts, who would then purchase extra stolen drugs from him after hours. Those actions are grossly illegal and will not be tolerated. The Medical Board has revoked Dr Mario's right to practice and are awaiting a criminal investigation before taking further action."
"In the mean time, Dr Mario's position will be replaced by Dr Baby Daisy until further notice."
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| Putting a baby in charge. What a great idea! |
Despite the pending investigation from police, Super Mario was more than happy to take our questions on the matter over a video call.
EE: Hi Mario. Do you have any opioids left over in your stash to sell?
"It's a-me, Mario! I give out all of the special pills.You ask, you get, out of my pocket. You'll say 'Hoo hoo! Just what I needed!'
EE: Excellent. Will you be able to meet up this afternoon?
"Maaama-hoo-ha-hoo, wow-wow!"
EE: Are you high? That would explain a lot about you actually.
"Thank you so much for playing my game!"
EE: Whatever man.
We decided to end the interview there as it wasn't worth our time dealing with a disgraced, incoherent and drug fucked loser for some cheap prescription drugs to party with.
An apparent opioid addiction explaining Mario's tendency to speak in basic riddles and slur his words asks more questions that it answers. There are a LOT of members in the Mushroom Kingdom who also have those tendencies. Could Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, the Toads and others be a part of a greater syndicate?
Tune in to Era Error for more pointless garbage.
