Half-Life Fans Unceremoniously Purchase $2000 VR Headsets


Life long Valve fans are one by one succumbing to the mega-corporation's plan to bind users into purchasing expensive VR Headsets for the upcoming Half-Life: Alyx.

Valve have made it no secret that the company has invested heavily into virtual reality technology over the past decade, and despite several years of radio silence on the Half Life franchise, it should be no surprise that the next title is exclusive to VR devices. There's a limited quantity of intellectual properties in gaming that can single-handedly launch a system and Half-Life — even a side story — is one of them.

That has not stopped irate fans from expressing anger towards Valve for extorting their lack of self control, blaming the company for their recent expensive gaming purchases.

"Fuck you Gabe. I knew this would happen!" Said one sadistic gamer.




"The moment Half-Life: Alyx was announced, I laughed at your feeble attempt to migrate gamers to your ludicrously expensive VR platform. There's no way I'll ever cave in to that blatant cash grab!"

"Valve need to be held accountable for abusing their stranglehold on weak minded fans who will buy any game or product they produce, regardless of price. Not everyone can be strong minded like me. No one wants this side-quest, prequel bullshit. It's Half-Life 3 on a regular PC or bust!"

"Okay so I may have subconsciously placed a couple of Valve Index Base Stations into my Steam cart which I accidentally purchased. Then over the coming weeks, the same thing happened with a pair of Index controllers and then the damn headset. At that point I was so far deep, I also bought myself a new $4000 gaming rig to accompany it."






 
"Let me make this explicitly clear though, it wasn't because of Half-Life: Alyx! I guarantee I won't be downloading that game which comes free with the headset on launch day. Fuck that!"

See you on launch day.