Sony Interactive Entertainment has sensationally responded to Era Error's claim that a PS4 Controller's battery can be optimised via a quick zap in a microwave.
Several days ago, Era Error's newest intern was pressured into microwaving their personal PS4 controller for the staff's amusement when our CEO became bored at the office and wanted to witness some fireworks. However to the dismay of everyone in attendance, the controller began to glow and withstood the radiation. When the intern returned to their PS4 to continue their play-through of Nickelodeon Kart Racers, the discovery of the boosted battery life was discovered and promptly posted by yours truly.
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| Our proudest moment in Era Error history. |
The news spread around the internet far and wide, captivating many with its fascinating revelation. Nevertheless one rather large corporation took exception. The company behind the hardware - Sony.
This morning Head of Sony Interactive Entertainment - John Kodera, made a bold press release denouncing Era Error's findings (despite our positive results) and gave our company a few jabs in the process.
"Last week, the incredibly amateur and laughably shit video game publication EraError.com posted an image to the gullible masses on the internet which claimed that by placing a genuine Sony PS4 controller into an 1100w Microwave and cooking on high for 3 minutes, the capacity of the internal battery can be increased."
"What an absolute load of bullshit!"
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| "Era Error are a bunch of spastics." |
"Encouraging users to place an electronic device into an 1100w microwave is downright disgusting and could cause an explosion, fire or harm to a person and/or their residences. The author must be some kind of psychotic retard to create content suggesting such danger, as everyone knows that the acceptable wattage for charging most appliances with a microwave must not exceed 600w."
"Sony products are made to the highest of quality and our internal battery cells can withstand a maximum radiation output of 800w. Unlike the terrorists at Era Error, we recommend cooking your PS4 controller at a lower power to be safe, as many modern microwaves exceed 800w."
"We also take offence to Era Error's ludicrous claims that PS4 controllers only last for 33 minutes. It is a HARD fact that they last 45 minutes, and with a radiation boost from a microwave can last up to a full 60 minutes flat! Sony takes pride in gouging its players with self interested business decisions while we're in first place during the console wars, but we don't want our users to die. That would destroy our cash flow!"
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| "One hour is more than enough time to game. Unless you're a mentally deranged lunatic - which we don't want playing Sony hardware." |
"Our lawyers have instituted legal proceedings against Era Error and we look forward to embarrassing the company in court."
On behalf of the entirety of Era Error, we apologise for mixing up the wattage of microwaving a PS4 controller by 300w. If your controller spectacularly melted into a molten ball of flames, please take a picture and post it on to one of our social media pages so we can do nothing about it while our 5 (wonderful) users gain a solid laugh.
