In an extremely asinine turn of events, fans of Bethesda Softworks Elder Scrolls franchise are still ruthlessly demanding more from the series, despite two games formally announcing over the weekend.
As we reported last week, Bethesda Fanboys were sick and tired of different Bethesda franchises taking the spotlight away from their two most illustrious IP's. (Fallout & The Elder Scrolls) However, when two new Fallout games were announced just before E3, they switched their complaints and demands exclusively to the Elder Scrolls series.
Those desires were met, with the announcement of Elder Scrolls VI and Elder Scrolls Blades.
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| The official Subtitle. |
The expected fanfare was never realised, as apparently those efforts still weren't enough. Just mere minutes before the announcement fans were hysterical about their cravings for Elder Scrolls VI, but not any more. We decided to interview an idiotic Super-fan on E3's show floor to see if there is some logic behind the ruse.
Flubbs: "What we want is pretty fucking simple! We want more and we want it now!!! We are fucking sick of tired of waiting for VI. We now want Elder Scrolls VII: Scrotskin!!!"
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| Something tells me the smeared ketchup won't be the only red substance on this blob's shirt by the end of this. |
EE: "Isn't it a bit insane to be demanding a sequel to a game that was just announced and not even close to launching yet?"
Flubbs: "Well we don't give a fuck!!! When I squeeze into my computer chair at night to eat cheeseburgers and play games, I start to sweat! That sort of exertion means that I'm a true fan and they have to do what I want!!! Elder Scrolls VI looked fucking shit! Give me VII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Out of no where, Todd Howard launched from the air and sliced open the annoying blob of grease to the gasps and shocks of the other difficult Bethesda fanboys in the vicinity.
TH: "As I've just illustrated, hunting walruses for their flubb will be an integral part of Elder Scrolls VI: Ballmunch.
To repeat what I said last week to you god damn whinging fuckheads, if you don't stop complaining, you're all going to die! I've given you what you all wanted, and you still fucking cry??? You better reconsider your thoughts otherwise you'll end up like Diabetus over there. Now, help me cut him apart so we can cook him for dinner at the office."
Before Todd Howard could further dissect the now mauled fanboy Walrus, a little girl wearing an Elder Scrolls VI dress approached the scene.
Girl: "You don't understand. Seven just sounds so much better than six, Mister."
TH: "Oh really? Well then, let me help you. There you go."
EE: "Nice one Howie!"
TH: "Oh god, not Era Error. I'd rather hang around a bunch of emo Twitch streamers who don't shower than be in the same room as you fucks. What part of blacklist don't you understand??? Sigh. I am a compassionate man so I'll tell you what. I'll still vote for your publication in the E3 awards. I have an appropriate category in mind. Mwahahahaha."
Well how about that! Be on the lookout for any E3 awards in the coming days. It looks like we have a chance to take out a category! Hopefully it's a positive one...
