In 2017, a veteran employee of Id Software named Tim Willits made several ridiculous anecdotes about inventing revolutionary features for the First Person Shooter genre that were obviously not true. These claims were immediately rebuked by several of his previous colleagues who were prominent in the era, stating infallible evidence to dispose of the ludicrous assertions. The resulting fallout has painted Willits as a liar and forged him into a laughing stock of the video game industry.
Surprisingly, the damning conclusion has failed to deter Tim Willits' spirits. Not only is he refusing to back down from his blatantly incorrect comments, he's now made several more to add fuel to the fire.
Willits' initial claims stated that he is the father of Multi-Player only maps for the First Person Shooter genre, beginning with the PC game Quake (1996). Unfortunately for him, industry legends and fellow Id software alumni John Romero, Tom Hall, John Carmack, American Mcgee and Adrian Carmack have all banded together and given many examples which pre-date those efforts. The first, DOOM (1993), has evidence of Multi-Player only maps developed by the community long before 1996 and even had an officially released map in 1994. Rise Of The Triad and Marathon (both 1994) also released with Multi-Player maps straight out of the box. Hilariously, when it comes to Quake's Multi-Player only maps, Willits' wasn't the sole developer either, with both Romero and Mcgee also assisting on the project.
Fascinated about the story and finding ourselves roughly six months behind other gaming publications, Era Error decided to reach out to Tim Willits for further clarification on the matter. To our surprise, he willingly accepted our offer for a webcam interview and also amplified the story with additional comments.
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EE: Thanks for your time Mr Willits.TW: I invented First Person Shooters.
EE: Ahh, I'm not too sure that's true.
TW: Were you there cunt?
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| Willits sent us this photo as evidence of him creating the first FPS during the dawn of the dinosaurs. |
EE: No I wasn't there. Mr Willits, how do you feel about the overwhelming evidence which staples you as a liar and not the pioneer of Multi-Player only maps?
TW: Well it's obviously fake news! Quake was the first game to include multi-player only maps and I was unassisted in developing them.
EE: That can't possibly be true Tim. History itself is enough evidence to disprove that statement.
TW: The gaming industry and media is just out to get me! OK! You're all fucking liars! Here's the fucking unadulterated truth for you to consume, and you better not bloody interrupt me during my tangent, so sit there and shut up!
It was a late evening in Dallas during the Summer of 91'. I was sitting at my computer waiting for my dial-up modem to load a nude photo of Kathy Bates to flog my log to, when I had an epiphany. I was looking down at my shriveled up dick and while I was thinking about what I was going to splat my load all over, I envisioned an amazing video game genre. The First Person Shooter. I immediately went to work to create my fantasy.
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| Willits contradicting himself with another image of his creation of the FPS genre. |
In the process I founded Id software. I hired all those legendary boys you know and love and chained them to their desks to get to work on my vision. In the process and under my leadership, we developed every single first person shooter to date. Wolfenstein, DOOM, Duke Nukem 3D, Star Wars: Dark Forces, Goldeneye 007, Half Life, F.E.A.R, COD 4, even fucking Overwatch. I created and designed every single one! Don't believe me? Check the credits! I am a genius. I am a legend and you should all bathe before me in my glory!
EE: I am gobsmacked and don't even know where to begin. Literally everything you just said was a complete lie! What are you, schizophrenic?
TW: There were no lies told! If you believe in something enough, and have enough faith, that is enough to make it true. It works for religious nut cases who dismiss irrefutable proof to suit their outlandish, fictional beliefs, and now it works for me. I've brainwashed myself to believe it, so you better get used to it as true!
EE: As I stated earlier, there is irrefutable proof to debunk your statements. Several people have also called out your bullshit!
TW: They're all just jealous of my ability! As you're going to find out in the upcoming days, I've invented a lot of shit behind the scenes which I'll finally be taking credit for. I invented the Internet. I invented the Digital Camera. I invented the Keyboard. I invented Pornhub! I invented the United States of America and Space Ships! I live on Mars and I killed JFK!!!
EE: Tim you need to calm the fuck down mate. No one is believing all this bullshit that you're spurting out. You're a fucking psycho dude.
TW: I invented Daikatana and I'm going to make you my bitch!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! I'm summoning an earthquake on you!!!!
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Tim Willits then proceeded to shake his webcam to simulate an earthquake in an attempt to scare us. After headbutting the webcam and laying motionless on his floor, we decided to end the interview there. |
| I still prefer the 'Webcams' I watched in my teenage years. |
Fascinated by the vast amounts of bullshit coming out of that arrogant fuckwit's mouth, we decided to take up his offer and check the credits on multiple First Person Shooter's that he claimed responsibility for. To our surprise, the end result is startling:
What in the actual fuck.
Look for more articles coming in the future from Era Error as we investigate this startling revelation.
UPDATE 21/03/18
Tim Willits' ruthless tangent has continued, with the Id Software legend personally re-affirming to Era Error that he created the internet. Considering his other outlandish claims were proven to be correct, we now live in fear and bow down to our webmaster overlord!
