After news broke from the developers of EA's upcoming Co-Op experience 'A Way Out' that a second player won't be required to purchase the game to play with a buddy, a leaked e-mail reveals that the publishing arm of EA is not happy about the incoming feature. Furious in fact.
There are several fascinating details contained in the e-mail, written in a stern tone by EA CEO Andrew Wilson. It appears that communications between Developer and Publisher must have broken down before the free Co-Op feature was announced at the 2017 GAME Awards, as Wilson states the Publishing Sector were not aware of such a generous component and never would've approved it if they were.
We'll let the e-mail do the talking for itself - Addressed to Hazelight Studio's Director, Josef Fares:
Dear Josef,
I was watching The Game Awards tonight behind the stage in the Green Room - where I was trying to be caught attempting to sexually harass Tina Guo to cover our horrendous PR battering over Star Wars: Battlefront 2 with a different controversy - when I saw the announcement that 'A Way Out' will be allowing free loading scum to play with their friends who have already purchased the game without any fee.
WHAT THE FUCK CUNT!!
I spat my Martini all over Guillermo Del Toro (who luckily fucking loved it and wanted more) when I saw the news! This goes against every fucking company policy that EA enforces. I don't know how the fuck Hazelight slipped the news past our Publishing Sector, but they would have flat out refused it and would have enslaved you in one of our development camps with the rest of our other defunct developers like Visceral.
If you dickheads in Sweden don't pull your act together, I'll be purchasing your company and permanently 'dissolving' it into another department - AKA the fucking development camp where you'll be my slave forever!
Developers really are the DEVEL. All you ever do is cause chaos and destruction to this profitable industry. Consumers are scum and don't deserve any benefits. They are our cash cows that we milk for their sweet revenue, and our milking farms are now more advanced than ever! How dare you give them any free shit. That is flat out against company policy! Our latest revenue milking cow BattleFront 2 has been taking an awful beating lately, and I've been trying to deflect media's attention with other horrible acts so we can continue milking the teets of little kiddies and their parents credit cards. Just yesterday I killed a junior video game journalist from EraError.com with a brick and the head editor's didn't even care. BattleFront 2 can't catch a break!
I just don't understand what the fuck you were thinking offering shit for free! The publishing Gamer God was already mighty pissed at us for making our devious plans so apparent and the loss of % to our revenue donations to him. Thank god FIFA players are such dumb fucks and don't realise we're pulling the same shit there with FIFA Ultimate Team! Anyway, now that the Gamer God is aware of your stupid little deal giving away the game for free to a second player, he's not tolerating it and is demanding repercussions on our behalf.
He wants a sacrifice. Unfortunately, we still need you for your fucked up Directing capabilities, so we decided to offer your lead Level Designer Filip Coulanios instead. You won't need him. Our linear games only require players to walk in a straight line anyway! What happened to him isn't pretty. I've attached an image showcasing his inflictions.
 |
| Attached.jpg |
Think twice about pulling this shit again cunt!
All Mighty Fuhrer,
Andrew Wilson
CEO Electronic Arts
It's always interesting to see a glimpse of the dynamics inside such a conglomerate of the video game industry. Disputes are unfortunately inevitable even inside the most functional corporations, but it's fantastic to see EA deal with the matter in such a diligent and appropriate manner.
